Am I supposed to be here? I ask myself. Am I selling out on my 100-day goal of following a creative dream by being back at the office, assisting former coworkers with job functions that I used to handle? Am I going to later curse myself for being naïve, uncourageous, and perhaps selfish?
I ponder these questions as I sit in an office and explain an assortment of computer files that I thought I’d never see again. Faces pop in the office doorway to say hello to me–faces I said goodbye to and thought I wouldn’t see again for at least a year or two down the road (and that would be for only nonbusiness purposes). I cannot help but feel that I’ve cheated myself a little. That I should be sweating it out in Starbucks thinking of the next big creative strategy. That I should be putting in 100% of my time on my dream or else I will flounder in the face of others who put in the requisite hours and days coming up with better business plans. That I will be licked by competition.
But I know these thoughts are impractical and I cannot have the 100 days completely the way I envisioned it. The truth is I need this part-time, per diem work to help cover bills. If going to the office ten to twenty hours per week means I won’t worry quite as much about my expenses (in other words, getting better sleep at night), then that’s the price I’ll pay and make up for those hours by working even harder to achieve my dream. It won’t be easy. But I knew that all along: achieving one’s dream is never a straight path, and you must do all that you can to make ends meet and keep moving in the direction of the goal.
The dream is clear. The choice to follow that dream has been made. That won’t change with part-time work.
And, in the process, I’ll get to see some friends from the office sooner than expected.
(Vincent Lowry – Author of American Vineyard and LucysLetter)